Week 4 The Bank Robbery by Jayden

One day I was thinking about robbing the city bank.

Then I rang Lucas and Brian and we made our decision.

Then Lucas, Brian and I went to the bank with our guns and robbed it.

The man was so scared.

Then we shouted, ‘open the safe’.

The man opened up the safe and there was 500,000 million dollars in it.

We got all the money and ran to the plane but when it just wouldn’t take off we got in the getaway car and went to the safehouse.

The police found us. They said ‘open the door’. We said ‘no!’.

Then the FBI came and broke down the door.

The police tried to get us and we just got away. That was a lucky escape.


One thought on “Week 4 The Bank Robbery by Jayden”

  1. Kia ora from New Zealand Jayden.
    You, Lucas and Brian sound like trouble to me! And what luck you had with so much money in that bank – you would certainly be set up for life! I loved the last piece of your writing: That was a lucky escape.
    One thing you might like to try in future when you write Jayden, is to try not to use THEN to begin your sentences. There are lots of really good link words and phrases which you might use instead such as:
    later on; afterwards; suddenly; before you know it; in no time; without any warning…
    Good luck!

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